For roughly a ten-year period—from about 1993 to 2003—I considered myself to be a songwriter. For the past ten years, I have certainly not been; and for some reason have been quite reluctant to disclose those past proclivities. By now, with ten years removed, I can perceive that past work objectively—no longer personally—and assess, judge, and understand it—rather than be embarrassed or ashamed of spending so much time partaking in a seemingly childish art that went nowhere and diverted my attention.
Since I could write, for some reason, I wanted to express thoughts and ideas lyrically in song. I did not really care about music as much as producing lyrics. These songs mainly took the form of regular songs or rock-type songs. During my middle school days, friends of mine played in rock bands; and so the sub-culture of creating songs and music seemed fairly normal, though I did not collaborate or produce any of these lyrics at all at this time.
Then, during high school, rap music was at its zenith. Everyone seemed to be listening to rap and many people were actually trying to rap themselves. It was not unusual to go to a party and find five to ten people free-styling in a corner. As a person who liked lyrics particularly, rap seemed like a way that I could explore and advance that art form and, more importantly, actually consider producing the work. I could not sing or play an instrument, but maybe I could rap.
Eventually, I learned how to produce songs on a multi-track recorder. Over about five years, I continually strove to produce rap songs, at times collaborating with others, at times on my own. By around 2003, I stopped writing lyrics and producing songs and focused on my academic life and have not produced, or wanted to produce, a song ever since.
My recordings from more than ten years ago still exist. Yesterday, I decided that I wanted to back up some of my old recordings, and while doing so listen to them to see if they are even worth preserving, if only for my own occasional amusement. Although at times vulgar, embellished, completely fabricated, nonsensical, trashy, and bewildering, I concluded that these recordings are pretty impressive, in context of what rap usually is: aggressive, provocative, id-released lyrics that try to artistically and rhythmically reach through the speaker and smack the listener in the face or get them to hang onto a one-liner or make them feel something.
To conclude, I was once a songwriter who more than dabbled in rap music. Lyrically, these recordings are high-quality; and that is for what I was aiming.